| Profilo di TereseRemember: Money talksFotoBlogElenchi |  Strumenti  Guida |
Remember: Money talksbut chocolate Sings! |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
22 novembre I Wanna... ...have a cookie swap. Invite friends and have wonderful holiday music playing while we munch on cookies and salty treats, drinking punch with icecream floating on the top. Or lattes made in my coffee machine. :) ...learn more about photography and how my camera works. f/stop and ISO, depth of field ~ all scare and intimidate me. ...give homemade gifts to my friends this year. Find fun yarns and patterns and delight in my friends' faces as they open gifts that I have made with love. :) ...figure out why I'm so needy. Why do I get so disappointed when I think my family doesn't care? If I could solve that...damn. Again, I wanna be an "It is what it is" kinda gal. Well, that's my fantasy anyway. Some I can do. Some....hmmmppff.  21 novembre Thanks! Gift #24 Thank goodness for other people. I'm so glad you have blogs, Deb & Laura! I enjoy reading your thoughts and find myself thinking twice about my own attitude after hearing your words. btw, Deb, the little table decorations are yours for the borrowing! Too bad we're not closer. I don't think I'll be up that way until Christmas. I found the little vases/place card holders downstairs in my stash. Lord knows where I got them ~ of course a terrific opportunity to tell Bob "told you so" for my belief in not getting rid of things "just in case"!! I have like 24 of them! So I got some silk flowers, etc, and then instead of making name cards I just used different stickers and put them on scrap paper. :) Now to figure out how to store them 'til next year! Well, on to my life at the moment. I'm pissy as hell. That's all there is to it. The pissy patrol has arrested me and is holding me captive. I am having neck surgery, Anterior Cervical Corpectomy and Fusion (ACCF), to be exact. I found a web site that shows a video of the surgery. No, I couldn't watch it. haha Ok...back up. Now the tears are forming. I guess if I'm honest, I'm just frightened. I try to hide it behind being pissy. Grumpy feels better than fear, for whatever reason, right now. December 4th is D-day. Click here for an animation of the surgery if you're interested. God works in mysterious ways. I was taken to this job in a cardiothoracic surgeon's office and wouldn't you know, one of the surgeons had the same ACCF surgery this past summer. I'm going to the same surgeon he went to so I know I'm in good hands. One of the girls in the office said, 'maybe that's why you're here.' Think I didn't think of that??? So, I'm having a bit of a pity party for myself. Like a friend said about having to bend over and take it ~ I just gotta suck it up and take it. I cannot stand the pain anymore so it's time to get it over with. I'm just wondering about 3 months of a neck brace. As a faithful stomach/side sleeper, 3 months in my husband's nasty recliner sounds like a prison sentence!!! Maybe I can find enough pillows to be able to at least sleep in my own bed. ??? No driving for 3 months [can you imagine navigating 670 or 270 without being able to turn my neck??] Oh and my favorite?? since I haven't even begun to shop for Christmas and we're leaving this Thursday for NYC... the last weekend before surgery, when am I gonna get *that* done?? Argh. I know...like I said, pity party for one over here!! I'll make it. We'll be fine. I know it will work out. As previously stated, it's a blessing to have others' words to read that put life in perspective. :) We all have our issues. Oh, the weight journey, you ask? Yeah, please don't ask. It's all about the neck right now. I'm proud of you, Laura!! Keep on keeping on! I'll get there. 17 novembre Ahhhh, rest & Gift #23 It's over. Hard to believe. But it was a greaaaaaat day!! My whole family, sans 2, gathered for a day of fun and feasting. I hope they had as good a time as I did.  The little table decorations were fun to make. Everything went smoothly. I just enjoyed standing back and watching...this family of mine. :) 13 novembre Thursday check-in, 11.12End of the day and I'm still so doggone tired. I even took a 2 hour "nap" this afternoon. Hmmm, I'm not sure what's going on. I was hoping the steroids would carry me thru the weekend. I'd rather crash on Sunday!! Tomorrow is crunch day and then the big TG gathering so I doubt I'll be on here for a couple of days. GOALS: water: check walk: check sweets: nope. sugar is truly my security blanket these days. I hide it in places and am delighted like a child when i discover it. i am seriously like a toddler getting a treat. i think about my youngest niece and how she lights up when she is offered some little goodie. Yep, that's me, too. And when that little voice tells me to resist I stomp my feet and say, petulantly, "no!". well this has to change. I'll get there. Trying to keep it to 3 is making me aware. That is a good step. 12 novembre Fatigued but grateful For some reason, I'm just plain pooped today. I was up early, went to the grocery store to get the last of the shopping done for this weekend. Came home, put it all away and made a couple snacks for the party. Then I just wanted to sit down. Now I'd like a nap and I have a laundry list as long as my arm of things I want to get done today in preparation for Saturday. As I told Laura, today I am feeling every ounce of my weight and every day of my 46 years! I just wanna sit in my chair and knit! As I wrote to Laura, the following came out. Interesting. So I sat down while some things are in the oven and found your email. Thank you! Oh Laura, I don't know...is surgery overkill? Should I just live with the pain? Am I inviting more complications? There is no guarantee that surgery will relieve the pain.... Can I say if I'm comfortable with the decision? That's stretching it a bit. Do I like the Dr? Well, he's not warm & fuzzy but he seems arrogant and confident about what he does. Bottom line, I guess what is wearing so heavily on me is that *nobody* can make the decision for me. I can get pros and cons. I can get opinions. But, unlike when I had to have lower back surgery, this surgery is not mandatory. I do not have to have it to function. I am hoping for a better quality of life. The pain, the "fogginess" of pain meds, fatigue are all wearing on a daily basis. So, yes. I'm going thru with it and I am praying with all my might that if I'm not supposed to have this surgery, God will make that crystal clear to me. Please pray that for me, specifically. Someone, something will present the warning to me. I have no idea why I'm so leery. I guess because we recently had a patient who came in for a consultation re: surgery. Our surgeon recommended surgery and she had severe second thoughts. She went thru with it following the advice of her children and grandchildren and has had terrible complications ever since. [this was last week.] It's scary. But back to today..,. :) I guess I'll just pare down my list of to-do things and call it a day. Tomorrow I have to work all day ~ Fridays are always crazy with seeing patients, etc., and then come home and cook several dishes. It will be a long day. :) I wish you lived closer, too. I need a good cook! lol Well, thanks for listening. I'll probably write a similar blog today. On a good note, I gag every time I try to eat today. Don't know what that's about. Nothing wants to go down. I'm sure it won't last long. ;) No worries. Maybe this weight journey [that's what I'm calling it] came at a good time so i don't balloon up after surgery. It sure would be easy to as my husband truly believes food is love. I am so thankful for my friends. Truly proving that family is not limited to those who share my bloodline. |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
