| Profilo di TereseRemember: Money talksFotoBlogElenchi |  Strumenti  Guida |
|
|
30 agosto Thanks Deb!Whew! Thank goodness for other bloggers! My silly rotten crappy [it's Sunday, I'll spare you the cursing. ;) ] laptop has decided to entertain trojans in mass quantities. What does that mean? All I know is that the darn thing goes haywire, shuts down and I get exasperated! Thankfully my dear husband is schooled in all things computer and has the patience of Job in this area. He fixed it but all my Favorites/Bookmarks are gone. Oy!! So, I kinda remembered Brent's blogspot and from there got here [can you believe I have no idea what mine is!] and then got to Deb's. Whew! Amazing how much I enjoy reading other blogger's posts. It's like having conversations with friends, 'cept I don't get to talk back directly. Guess it's really not a conversation, but it sure is stimulating. hehe Before I digress, back to the point of this subject. Thank you, Deb! She posts about books she reads and I LOVE IT! My crocheting, scrapbooking ~ all hobbies ~ have fallen by the wayside as I pick up one book after another. I really love to get absorbed in a book, painting the pictures in my mind, learning new vocabulary [yes, I have an electronic dictionary with me at all times!], getting to know the characters, sometimes wishing I could be transported to the 1870's for a day or two. Not too long, Miss 21st Century is not keen on hauling water inside for a sit-down bath or using an outhouse, among other things! Books are magical and I love reading about Deb's relationships with hers. thanks for sharing! In light of that, here is the book I just finished.  The 19th Wife, by David EbershoffIt's an interesting fusion of history and present day fiction related to polygamy in the First Church of Latter Day Saints. [I don't know how anyone could read and believe in the New Testament and come to the conclusion that God sanctions polygamy.] This book is an inside look into the emotional upheaval that polygamy reaps in the 'sister wives' and Brigham Young's response to that. It's sometimes slow, I'll be hones, but I enjoyed the history of the LDS church. 29 agosto Saying GoodbyeOne of the wisest things my mother would casually say is, "there's always somebody better and there's always somebody worse." Oh, what a life lesson. Today I'm reminded of that as Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg says goodbye to yet another family member. No matter the political affiliation, nobody can dispute the strength of this woman. Be it her faith, her family support, her natural constitution, her ability to fake it 'till she makes it ~ nature vs. nurture again :) ~ whatever the reason I cannot imagine walking in this woman's footsteps. When you take away the celebrity, the notoriety, and the political motivations for attending the services of her uncle, at the end of the day a woman has lost yet another important person in her life. Another casket, another long period of public mourning, another funeral Mass, another burial, another loss.
My heart is saddened today for Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. It is never easy to say goodbye. 22 agosto No RulesIf anyone had asked me how I thought I would react to the death of my grandfathers I would never have come up with the truth. Sad? sure. Grief stricken? I don't think so. Yet here I am. I try to tell myself all the philosophical tidbits I've heard through the years about how it will pass, it just takes time, etc., but the reality is that I just plain hurt. And just when I think it's getting better something yanks my chain and the tears are rolling. I'm embarrassed! But there are no rules for grief. Just gotta go thru it, I guess.
I missed a dear friend's wedding reception today and I cannot let go of the guilt. I wanted to be there so badly. I couldn't even call and talk to her because I was crying...I certainly didn't want HER to be thinking about ME on such a day!! I just wanted to go and forget about all the sickness/death around me. Instead I was caring for my MIL who is still having issues from her surgery.
It's gotta end sometime. Ya know that old saying about enjoying the good when it comes around cuz you never know what's around the corner? Truer words were never spoken! 13 agosto Softly and Tenderly
At our Christmas family gathering, my Grandfather asked my 2 female cousins and I to sing at his funeral. [I have probably posted this before.] After great searching and communicating we decided to sing but not all together. I knew I wanted to sing acapella, I didn't wanna chase a piano or have to practice with anyone living so far away, etc.
I decided on a song. Imagine how transfixed I was when I tuned in to the Gaither's and heard this woman singing exactly what I want to sing for my Grandfather!!
As if nothing is happening...I find that when there's nobody I want to share my thoughts with out loud, I come here. Knowing there are a certain few who read this - but somehow it feels private. :)
I spent the day with my MIL, going to, what I call, Club Zangmeister. It is the cancer center in Columbus where she has to go for radiation. Whew, so many sick sick people in that waiting room! Then, half way thru the day, I hear from my father that my Grandpa is doing that "gurgling death" breathing that comes at the end of life. I tried to put it out of my head, trying to focus on my MIL and all the information we were being given.
I finally get home and put in some laundry [that I've been neglecting]. I went out to get the mail and it struck me that here I was, doing an ordinary thing and my Mom is sitting with her father trying to comfort him in the last few hours of his life. Miles away someone I love so much is in great pain and here I am getting the mail. The juxtoposition just struck me as odd.
I sat down to send my boss an email and that's when the tears started. Time slowed down for a bit and I am able to think. Not in any structured way, I might add, just blurbs that pass thru.... Grandpa S. 2 months ago... my mother's father now... brain cancer... breast cancer... work... family...
As I told my husband this morning, before I learned of Grandpa K., New Year's Eve cannot come soon enough. I want this year to end.
02 agosto Gift #22 - People sharing their Talents
Acappella "front porch" music. ::sigh:: When I was a child I went to Vacation Bible School at the North Clinton Mennonite Church. [I wasn't Mennonite but a school friend, D. Schrock, invited me.] To this day the scent of peonies take me right back to VBS! And I remember the songs the most. "This Little Light of Mine", "We are Climbing Jacob's Ladder", "Let the Sun Shine In"... so many fun songs. When I lived in Boston I auditioned and was accepted into a small acapella group singing Christian hymns. The leader of the group was once the director of the Vienna Boys Choir and it was a privilege to be among such talented people learning these awesome arrangements! My heart would swell as we sang and the harmonies were so sweet ~ more than once I had chills! Years ago I stumbled upon the televised Gaither music show. The music pierced my heart, taking me back to Boston where I belonged to a church where people praised God with 4-part harmonies and clapping...really enjoying the music! I miss that so!!!!! That's one thing we don't have in the Catholic churches I have attended - [can't say all of them. :) ] When I sing in church, people usually turn to look at me cuz my voice is louder than most. Not all of the Gaither shows are to my liking but when they do the classic hymns, gosh, I close my eyes and generally find tears streaming down my cheeks. Music has always been a form of prayer and these days it doesn't take much for me to cry. :) It's always the harmonies that undo me. I have to admit, I envy those people in the TV, looking so full of God's grace. Seeming to have peace of mind and heart. I know, I know...but wouldn't it be lovely to walk into that setting and let all of the world's woes melt away as you sang and sang and sang, one song after another? I heard this song tonight on the Gaither Homecoming and stopped to just listen. I found a video of the group on YouTube but it's not the same rendition they did on the show. And the computer cannot do it justice. I think it touched me so cuz I find myself thinking "why is there so damn much grief in life??" I guess there's something to learn from the thorns among the roses. Or maybe it's meant to remind me that it's a choice to find the roses among the thorns?? Lucky for me, these people share their gifts. YouTube - The Bishops - A Rose Among The Thorns |
|
|
