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April 17 Lost in Translation?[My husband asks me where I would like to go for my birthday. We have been itching to take a trip somewhere and now that the contractors are finished, yippee!]
Him: so where would you like to go for your birthday? Let's take a trip somewhere!
Me: hmmmm, how about NYC and take in a show, see Ground Zero together...or Chicago, good theatre...or Vegas and play the pennies...or Branson. I would love to go there and maybe see a concert.
H: mmm, ok. I'll see what I can do.
End of last week, when we found out the contractors would finish on Monday, he says, "I've been pricing some flights. How about Miami?" Hmmmm, well, I spoke up and tried to gently mention that Miami was not on my list when he asked me where I would like to go. "Oh, right. Right....okay.", he says.
Yesterday he tells me he has booked out trip and I'm gonna LOVE it! [oooo, I'm feeling excited!]
Where are we going, you ask?????
ORLANDO, FLORIDA.
[did i miss something in the translation?] Goodbye!Goodbye Contractors!!! Adios! They finished with their final touches on Monday. I worked all day Monday and Tuesday. So yesterday was spent putting the pieces back together and trying to remove the layer of dust that landed everywhere !!! I went to Lowe's and got some wood, dug out the jigsaw and created some shelves. [cut that's the only power saw we own!] Of course, that was after I read the directions for putting the blade in the saw. haha Felt very butch. I wish I could create more. I'm sure if I lived near my Dad I could work in his shop and actually pick up some skills. I took woodshop class in high school. I enjoyed it. But I have to admit, after about 3 cuts I was getting a bit bored and wanted to move on to the next step. Guess I won't be taking on a job as a carpenter. lol
Washed all the cupboards - where does that gunky, dirty layer of sh** come from that settles on the tops of the cupboards?? Yuk!! And that darn cat has to rub his damn head on all corners so those have to be scrubbed. When I train him not to throw up, I'm gonna train him not to rub on everything!! But now the kitchen is all sparkly. For a few months, I guess. lol
I had MJ last night. Since I was off work I cooked a full meal and we actually sat down at the kitchen table and ate all together! With the kitchen being torn up, it has been a while since I've cooked a proper meal. I said, "look, we're all sitting at the table together." MJ says, "yeah, 'bout time." Ouch.
Then we all went outside and raked up 5 bags of leaves/trash that blows across the backyards of the neighbors and lands next to the stockade of the neighbor next to us ~ in our yard. Yuk! What a mess. Then it was 3-man football until shower time! Whew, what a day! Keeping up a house never ends!
April 11 Whoa!!Just for fun I added my horoscope to my blog page. I sometimes pay attention to it... when I do, OMW! I don't know who writes this stuff but I swear, they live in my mind!!! Crazy.
Wouldn't it be awesome if God gave us a daily instruction, similar to a horoscope? "T, you have been feeling ______ lately. You need to read the following scriptures and do this and this and it will help you feel _____. As for your question re: _____, you need to _____ and ____." lmao That would be fabulous. I guess that's what they call prayer. [duh] But the immediate response would be awesome.
Two dear dear people in my life [trying not use names] have recently posed the same question about what to do re: depression or other psychological hurdles. "Should I take meds? Should I not? I don't know what to do or whom to believe." Well, in my 40+ years I can only offer what I've learned. Some people are able to take such meds to get them over a bump in the road. Ok, a large hill! And then, life calms down and they can go off the drug. It's "situational" depression or anxiety, etc. I know, for me, that was not the case. Mine was no bump in the road, no mountain I was going to scale and repel, leaving the meds behind. How did I know? And what advice do I offer?
The way the psychiatrist explained it to me is the meds "keep me above the line." If you hold out your hand, perpendicular to your body, like an imaginary line in space, above the line is "normal" emotions that wax and wane, go up and down. I still get happy, sad, angry, etc. Below that line is severe depression and eventually suicide. The meds keep me from going below the line. Some people use meds to get above the line, find coping mechanisms and can go off the meds. I cannot maintain a healthy balance without meds. I liken it to Epilepsy. I have no shame in the fact that I will forever be on drugs. I may selectively choose who I share this information with because of all the stereotypes and misinformation out there. People say it's a crutch. I say "ha!" to those people. I have gone off the meds, without success. I found I could not function in daily life.
Bottom line, you have to find out what works for *you*. And it's not a one-time write a scrip and it's over. Don't be discouraged if you have to have the dosage adjusted. Or perhaps one pill doesn't work for you, another might. The goal is to live a life without the obstruction of the chaos that lives in your thoughts. Medication gives me the key to open the door to my thoughts and get me out of feeling trapped by them. Doing what is best for you, depite what anyone else may think, is by far the most difficult thing to do in life. There are many many many degrees of mental illness. Taking one pill a day does not equate living in a mental hospital, drooling on myself! Find out what works for you! Life is too short to have to spend all your time fighting demons in your own head! And remember, what works for one, does not always work for another!
peace.
HUH???What was that about wonderful glorious Fridays?? That must have been a crack day. Cuz I am not feelin' it today. We're on the final turn of the home repair track (that's for you, JJJ). The floors are to be installed at 9:00 am today. Great. Perfect time. It's 7:40 am and I'm thinking about getting up when....... the doorbell rings. Did I hear that right? So I get up and throw on my fuzzy robe and go across the hall and look out the window that faces the road. WTF? Are you *kidding* me???
 [ Anyone who knows me knows exactly how much I like mornings.] So, back to throw on some clothes, looking like a rag hag and go to greet yet another strange man. Alone. I watch far too much Law & Order: CI, SVU...LMNOP, you name it, to comfortably let a strange man in the house. But what the hell, I even took a shower while he's working on the floors downstairs. I have just had it with this damn home crap. [but you know in the back of my mind I'm thinking "uh oh. better watch out."]B and I had a good laugh last night as we're watching TV after a long day and he reached out and opened the refrigerator from his recliner, without extending his arm all the way! And the stove is in the family room as well, right in front of the sliding glass door. With the kitchen table and chairs. It's pretty. They claim everything will be finished by Monday. Can only hope! Oh! And did I mention that the *other* guy is coming to take out the ONLY TOILET in the house? Cuz we're having new flooring put in both bathrooms. We've been living without the convenience of a toilet on the first floor. Oh, he just showed up. Bob the Builder #1 said he'll be "hours" - his words - putting in the floor downstairs. But Bob the Builder #2 just showed up to take out the toilet upstairs. So, I'm thinking, math genius that I am, it could be a few hours without a toilet at all!! Now won't that be pretty! "Excuse me, I'll be right back. Gotta take my toilet paper outside !!!!!!" grrrrrr
My favorite, tho, is yesterday when Bob the Builder had to move the appliances so the floor could be put down. He started in on the fridge. I said, "don't you have anyone to help you?" cuz it had to go down the step-down in the family room. He said, "Maybe you'll have to help me." Long pause.... then I gave him a look I learned only from my Dad. I think he got the message. What the hell??? I may LOOK like a linebacker but I am NOT moving appliances, fool! Idiot.
Let's see...what will cheer me right now.... Oh yes. My girls. [see, "my girls" are KB, CL, EW, & MJ] Why do I call them my girls? Ummm, cuz I can. Cuz it's my fanatasy world here. lol Cuz they feed my soul and make me so proud I could burst! KB, if you read this, I'm dying to hear from you! I may have to call you in the middle of the night. At least send me your address. :) I may have to hop a plane to Philly to check on you. :) I love you each and every one so much you will never know!
 [xo] CL, I am sooooooo diggin' your comments!! They make me smile!ok. to work. Have a great Friday everyone. It's rainy and warm here. Good day to stay in and scrap. hehe April 04 Simple Pleasures......Simple Minds. hehehe Wouldn't it be swell to be simple minded? [lmao] Woops, I was about to reveal a secret side to my personality...better left alone.
So, it's Friday. Glorious, wonderful Friday. What is it about Fridays that make me smile? I don't have super grand plans for the weekend. I don't work every day so it's not the grind of the work week. But Fridays are just a mini celebration. Today MJ comes over and we're watching the "Alvin & the Chipmunks" DVD. We love that movie!
It reminds me of when the girls were little and we would go to the theatre and watch Disney movies. Chels n E would sit on the arms of the chair, we brought our own popcorn and soda...oh the fun!
SIMPLE PLEASURES:
* toast n peanut butter
* cherry Diet Pepsi
* Disney movies
* cheese Doritos
* a card in the mail
* swimming
* perfume
* photos
* afternoon naps
* good mystery novel
Oh, the list could go on and on.
 Hope y'all have a Happy Friday! April 03 If a Person Screams in the Woods....kinda like, if a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound? If nobody is around to hear it? Well, I'm wondering if I scream and nobody hears me, will it help relieve my frustration? lol Sometimes I wish I had no impulse control! Right now I want to take this work laptop and go out on the porch, get a hammer and start beating the sh** out of it! Hit it and hit it and hit it and watch it splinter and bust and, if I'm lucky, spark! I was so thrilled to be able to work from home where internet connectivity is not a problem; I do not have to WAIT for a broadband card to complete my work. Not have to be at the mercy of someone else's generosity and told to hurry! But can that be easy? Can that work ~ plug in and go. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Two hours later ~ FREAKIN' TWO HOURS ~ later I am connected. Mr. English-is-my-second-language-I'll-get-frustrated-with-you-if-you-don't-understand-ME from the "help" desk [what an irony that is!] is trying to walk me thru the steps to get connected. Go here, click this, open this, change that, add this, remove here.... good night, Irene! And I foolishly had my pen and paper ready to take notes so I could do this the next time I work from home! right! Painintheassnogoodrottenpieceofcrapcomputer! *%$#*#$%@!!
It is so frustrating because this is what I go thru every day at work. Every day I am set to just do my work, every day I have obstacles that include the freakin' computer. I am not a computer geek. I do not aspire to be a computer technician. Have I mentioned how thoroughly excited, elated and absolutely piss in my pants happy I am that I only have 4 more days to work there? 15 April, I am done! FINITO!
My car will be paid off and I am hoping for a temporary position that will take me to my summer sabbatical! (hehe) I am hoping for a summer of playing in the pool with an ocassional day of work here and there. (yeah, and I'm hoping pigs sprout wings soon, too!) Oh well, they tell me it's good to have goals.
 I feel better. Thanks for listening to the rant!
April 02 Random RamblingsThis contractor is gonna be the death of me. Okay, that's an exageration. Maybe it will be the death of *him*. [bahahaha] There are bits and pieces that we pick up from our parents that we don't even know are there. Until I come home and find that Jon the Builder has used one of my face cloths as a rag in the bathroom he's repairing. My father has been a plumber for many many years and done a myriad of building projects for many people. When ranting to my husband about the now wet & filthy face cloth all wadded up on the bathroom floor I said, "my DAD would never do that!" with righteous indignation! :) My father-in-law passed away two years ago. I was very close to him and find myself, along with my husband, saying "what would Dad do?". He never sat us down and gave us the "rules of life" yet somehow we know what he would do ~ in many situations. I would think that must be the best one could hope for as a parent ~ your child asking "what would mom/dad say or do?".
So when Jon the Builder showed up at the house this morning I gathered all my kahunas (I'm not very good at confronting people I then have to spend the day with!) and asked him to please not use face cloths as rags. He said, "oh. I didn't know if that was mine or yours" and tried to laugh it off. Hmmmmm, this particular article has PINK EMBROIDERY around the edges!! Do you hand-embroider your RAGS, Einstein?? [oh bother.]
My boss said I could work from home the rest of the week! Whoooo hoooo! I don't have to go to the detention center AND I'll get paid! I'm so happy I can't stand it!
I finally found a layout for the photos I'm working on. Whew. Only 3 tries later! Usually a layout just kinda developes. This one just kept getting stuck! Thank goodness I solved it. :) I can sleep now. lol
Laura, thank you! You're a sweet heart! I'm very grateful for your friendship. Isn't it amazing that we've known each other for 26 years??? Geeeeeeeez. And the stories we could tell. Girrrrrrrrrrrl! :) I imagine someday we'll be snowbirds....crocheting in RI or maybe FL, reading books on a cruise ~ that's right, you'll be knitting, I'll be reading. lol I have this feeling we'll come full circle, sharing our sisterhood.... then separating...reconnecting and growing old. Ya know, I still have my pledge book. hahaha I came across it and relished in the blessing that God picked *you* to be my big sis! What a gift!
Back to scrappin'! :)
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